Sorry, don't speak Ebglish. Would English do?

OK, I'm back to perusing job ads. (Can't believe I used that word. :/)

There's this ad. They're looking for Internet organizers. Whatever that is. They need people who speak Ebglish (their word, not mine) and know something about... eBay, I guess. It's a part-time, work from home job with flexible hours. I'm just not really sure what the job is all about.

How the hell am I supposed to bullshit my way through the cover letter if I don't know what skills they are looking for???

Sign spinner

*sigh* I have two and a half hours to decide if I want to be a sign spinner.

Well, actually...

I have two and a half hours to decide if I could be a sign spinner.

Cause I might be a huge klutz.

And GBH by a sign doesn't sound all that appealing.

But maybe that's just me.

Checking in?

Yeah, I could get used to saying that.

It's a job in a hostel. Front desk + occasional housekeeping. I'm not really sure how that would work. Unless they have two people at the front desk at all times. Which I doubt. If they had enough money for two paychecks, they'd probably hire a receptionist AND a housekeeper.

The only problem is that it's not actually a part-time job. As in I'd be working 8 hours a day. But I wouldn't be regularly employed. It would be doable once I go back to translating soaps, because I have to translate 5 episodes a week and it takes me 5 hours max for one episode. So, the "part-time" job would actually be 40 hrs/week and my "full-time" job would be 25 hrs/week. Like I said, doable.

Are you decisive? Well, yes and no.

I still have a day to decide whether to apply for that job in exurb or not. I mentioned that to my mom and she told me I can get there by train and started telling me how one night my sister almost ended up on the other side of the country because she took the wrong train, so, y'know, I should apply. And I was like: OMG, that was you trying to tell me to do it??! I thought you were discouraging me!!!

Needless to say, I am somewhat discouraged.

Slim pickings

What does one write in one's cover letter when one applies for the job of a poll taker in supermarkets? Yes, of course I can write? Sure, I can stand for hours? IMHO, my pretending to be polite is Oscar-worthy?

Bika.net

I'm sorry, but are you actually trying to make me leave all the information about me* out in the open, for everyone with Internet connection to see, just so that I could apply for one job that I won't even get? I would laugh right now, only it really isn't funny. At all.

So, you wanted to make some kind of network? Well, good for you. But I don't want to be a part of that network. I don't want people to be able to click on my profile and find out everything about me. I don't want to risk creating a profile just to find out that I can't make it extremly private after it's already too late and I disclosed everything. I do, however, want to apply for a single job and then, hopefully, never go back to Bika.net. What the hell happened to the old-fashioned and time-honored tradition of e-mailing one's CV and cover letter? If it ain't broken...


*Even if it's just my name. I don't want my name out there. I went to great lengths to keep it off the Internet.

Hell, yes! I'll tamper with your website!

Two more interesting ads. One is for a website content writer (I love it when a potential employer translates the job title so I don't have to :D) and the other is... uhm... for a website updater? Y'know, the person who updates the website.

That content writer job would be perfect, if not for one tiny little detail. What they consider content. Basically, they are looking for someone who'll write web articles about discounts, catalogs, special offers... And they want a 500-750 word test article about this month's great deals in Konzum. 750 words?! I could maybe, idk, list everything that's on discount? Maybe? Yeah, I got nothing.

Now, the updater job, OTOH, I'm definitely sending my CV+cover letter for that one. It's a part-time, flexible hours, no experience needed, work from home job. Proakustik is looking for someone who would update their website, enter new content, maybe fiddle (as in try to fix, not commit fraud) with an occasional photo or two. Now, THAT I definitely CAN do. 

Watchgirl

So, there's this ad. RG Sport Center is looking for animators and... Uhm... Čuvalice. I'm not really sure how to say that in English. In this case, čuvalica is a person who, essentially, looks after children in the play center (during b-day parties). It sounds like a pretty decent part-time job. And it's definitely something I could do. I've never done something like that before, but my lack of experience is not a problem (cause it's not a job requirement and also cause I AM capable of learning new things). And I know that working with/looking after children is a big responsibility, but I'm a responsible person, so it would work out just fine. :D And the best part? It's a weekend job. The only problem? The play center's on the other side of the city and I don't drive, so it would probably take me at least an hour to get there (and at least an hour to get back home). But it's much easier to commute (yes, I'm using that verb) on weekends than after 8 hours of my usual day job.

I'm sending my CV and cover letter tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

Possibility of being paid for the job is very little... (sic)

Now there's something I always wanna see, nay, something I LOOK FOR in a job ad. *thumbs up*

Magnificus Films are going to shoot a movie (fantasy, inspired by ancient times) here in Cro and are looking for English speaking actors and who-the-hell-cares-if-they-speak-English-or-not extras.

Now, as fun as the whole thing sounds (and if it turns out they are legit, it really could be fun), I'm sorry, but this whole we-ain't-paying-you-a-dime thing just makes them seem unprofessional. It's like they're just playing around. I wonder if they'll find extras willing to work for free. What the hell am I saying? We're in Cro. Of course they won't.   


"Besides, if I care enough to pretend that I can act during filming, they could at least care enough to pay me for my trouble." (famous quote by E.J. McRae)

Dating coordinator

When I saw the words dating coordinator (m/f), I kinda thought - probably speed dating. Then I read the ad and a few things on their website. Now I'm mostly thinking - pimp/madam.

I mean, the pay is excellent. Almost twice what I'm making!! And there's stuff on their website that can be somewhat misleading (like their guide to oral sex). But yeah, it could go either way, really.


Somebody remind me - just how desperate am I to get a well paid part-time job?

Data entry

Not much has changed since I started blogging. Well, except now I have hundreds of photos more :) and hundreds of dollars less :(. But I'm still looking for a part-time job or two (or three). I need to feed my addiction somehow. :( :D
And the addiction is getting worse. Now I'm not only thinking of going to Burbank (OMG, Burbank, really?! but I'll get back to that, that needs a post of its own) and Barcelona, but Rome as well. Rome, ppl, Rome! And that's just all wrong, considering my not so fond memories of Italy and the fact that I have issues with JIB. (Contribution? Really?! *rolleyes*)

So, I found this ad. It's for data entry. I sent my application form last night and already got a reply. So, basically, I'd be... well, entering data. And I'd work from home. It could be kind of perfect. Unless there are major discrepancies between the amount of money I'd be getting and the amount of work I'd be getting. (But so far numbers look good.) Or it's a scam. (But my dad will look into that.)

And also, I can't believe I knew how to spell discrepancies, but had to check how to spell hundred. I never know how to spell that one. *smh*

Yes, this IS a cover letter. I don't care what you say.

Looking for a part-time job

When I started looking for a part-time job (and blogging about it) five months ago, it never even occurred to me that part-time jobs in Croatia just - don't exist. (It's not my fault I'm scared of dogs, don't like cleaning and ironing - don't judge me, nobody likes that, I'm not a student and subtitling firms don't need someone who speaks English and Spanish and has a 12-year experience in subtitling. So, like I said - they don't exist.) I lost my enthusiasm very soon and it took a plane ticket to Los Angeles to save me from an oncoming depression. My hat is off to those who spend years looking, with no luck, for a full-time job. I was overwhelmed just by looking for a part-time one.

I am not saying I almost gave up, but... I did. Almost. I just won't say it.

And then I came across someone who was looking for article writers for a portal. Part-time job in Croatia?! I couldn't believe it. Writing and getting paid for it? I love writing! (And I don't hate the money either.) OK, I never wrote for a portal, but I write my blog. That's similar. Right? Besides, I can adjust. If I have to. I can even be dry and dull if need be. Probably. Maybe. There's a first time for everything. And the best part, I'd be working from home. I'm an expert, I've been working from home for 12 years. I took to flexible hours like fish to water and I don't need my boss peeking over my shoulder to meet my deadlines. (I'm pretty sure my inner procrastinator hates me. I ignore it.)

But... (There's always a but.)

It's not easy getting a job, even a part-time one. There's a lot of competition, people need money for cons (or is that just me?), there's always someone with more experience. Thank God I have something up my sleeve.


Yes, I did send this as a cover letter. Only it was less, y'know, English. Two hours later I got an e-mail. The woman that placed the ad asked me how much I would expect to be paid. That's an unfair question. Of course I'd like to get as much as possible, but ultimately it's up to her, isn't it?

I wish I was a professional photographer

So, there's this ad. Finally. There was absolutely nothing interesting in two and a half months. Unless I wanted to move, learn to drive in a week or go back to school again (y'know, ppl, I could photocopy stuff even if I wasn't a student). Where was I? New ad, interesting... Oh, yeah. I'm talking about portal article writing. (Is that even a word?) I mean, writing articles for portals. Or in this case, one specific portal. It opens its doors (pun intended) in the next month and will have articles about things that interest women. (Good thing I'm of the female persuasion then.) 

Of course I could can write non-bitchy stuff. *huffs*

I actually like writing. Granted, I never wrote articles, but there's a first time for everything. (OK, that's bull. There are a lot of things I'd never do.) But I could definitely see myself as a part-time article writer.

Hmmm... Would a series of articles (with pictures!!!) about Jensen and Jared (and/or LAcon) be of some interest to women? Just a thought. (Yeah, yeah, I know I have a one-track mind. lol) Did I mention there would be pictures? :D

But actually, that's a good idea. I could write a series of bloglike articles for my blog. Something along the lines of:
-What to do at Pleso while waiting
-What to do at Munich airport during a 6-hour (OMG!!! 6 hours!!!) stopover 
-How to survive a 12-hour flight (with pics of fugly airplane food)
-How to go to LA and see nothing but the hotel
etc.

Off to sell myself... I mean, write a cover letter.

Croupiere (m/f)

I mean, really, people? Croupiere?

First of all, since we're in Cro, it should be krupje. (Actually, it should be djelitelj, but fine, whatever.) But if they're insisting on writing it in a foreign language (I'm guessing they were going for English here), they should at least make sure that the word is written correctly. Especially since croupiere is the armour that protects horse's ass. It really irks me when people are so careless that they can't even write a teeny tiny ad without mistakes. And if they're making mistakes, then they should at least be consistent. Because crouppier? Really?


I finally got an email from Mediatranslations. They're keeping my CV and will contact me if/when they need another subtitler. I'm fine with that. Right now I'm really hoping that I'll get that rink job. And I can't believe I'm so excited at the prospect of cleaning (among other things) a skating rink for 2 or 3 months. *smh*

Vague much?

There's this ad. Some firm needs help in (at?) their (the?) showroom (whatever that is). It's a part time job. I guess it has something to do with helping their team with presentations and... folding clothes? Idk. OK, there IS some sort of a short description, but how about some details, ppl? Like where, when, for how long? Or is that one of those jobs where you don't even have to apply if you don't know what they're talking about? It kinda reminds me of that joke- Psychic wanted. You know where to apply. *rolleyes*

I guess it's a step up from ads like 'We need workers'. But not by much.

I really hate vague ads. Are they supposed to intrigue us and make us wanna call and find out more? Because when I see an ad that doesn't say much, it only makes me wanna ignore it. And that's exactly what I do. Every time.

Outside the box

I think I should quit my job to have more time for this blog. Because anything less than 7 posts a week is just unacceptable. Unacceptable I say!!! (Did you get it out of your system now, Eliann? Yeah, I'm good.)

Last week I found exactly two (2) ads that were somewhere in the vicinity of what I might be looking for. But since I don't have a car and I'm not communicative... Let's just say that I'm still part-time-jobless.
And I'm not just being picky here. There really aren't any jobs for me. Mostly because 98% of all ads in Cro are for full time jobs. And it doesn't help that there are like 100 ads all together. Even if I was looking for a new day job, which I'm not, I'm neither an architect, nor a shipbuilder, nor a lawyer, nor a... Well, you get my drift. So, basically I'm left with two ads that I'm not qualified for. *sigh*

What exactly am I looking for? A part time job. Ideally something that I can do at home, so I don't have to waste hours on trying to get to work and back. There's also that small matter of my constant headaches. I always have to work around them. Which basically means that I'm working from 9 pm to 5 am more often than not. So a job with flexible hours would be awesome. Also, it has to be something I know how to do. Doh. And I'm trying to avoid scams. That one should go without saying. A decent paycheck would be nice too.

OK, I'm done bitching, now I'm branching. Out. Have to throw a wider net due to slim pickings. (That would be, what, plan C?) There are like millions of foreign jobs sites and some of them even have ads for jobs in Cro. It's the weirdest thing, looking for jobs in Cro on foreign websites. But I'd get over the weird factor if I could only find something. *fingers crossed*

Or maybe I should just go straight to Plan L.

*facepalm*

I go through ads every day. (Such a Sisyphean task, btw.) And I found two really idiotic ones today. I didn't know if I should laugh or what.

First one has millionaire as job title. That's really priceless. I didn't know millionaire is another word for scam. But apparently...

The other one is actually not a bad job. Movie portal is looking for... Writers, I guess. It says in the ad that it can be a full time job, part time job, you can work from home, be a freelancer, it can go through Student employment office...  Blah blah blah... And then my favorite part: Oh, btw, it's a volunteer position. WTF?!
(The thing is, if Student employment office is involved, it means that sb is getting paid. Otherwise, why would you need them?)

Plan B (no, not that one)

Well. I don't actually have a plan B.

I have a vague notion of plan B...

Turns out that doesn't help much.

What I'm trying to say is that there is still no e-mail from M. No, not even a 'yeah, we don't want you' e-mail. And it's the worst because I know I probably won't hear from them, but there's always that damn hope. Pesky little &$@*#. Pardon my French. Guess I hoped my 11 and a half years of experience and my knowledge of English and Spanish (99,8% of everything on Cro TV that needs translating is in Eng. or Sp.) would at least get me a 'we're not looking for anyone and we don't want your CV, go away'. Just so I know that there's no point in waiting.
In other words, unless I suddenly become an expert web designer by next week (highly unlikely, BTW), I can pretty much forget getting a job that would allow me to work from home. Crap.

Since there's a shortage of good job offering ads, I went through ads from people who are looking for jobs. Mostly to get some ideas about what I could do. And I did. Get some ideas. But there were some... interesting ads. A man is looking for a job as a butler. I laughed my... behind off. Who knew we had butlers in Cro. I mean, really? We do? Really?! Then there was the ad from a woman who would take care of kids for free because she loves kids. What's up with that? Oh, and my favorite. Boy, 39 years old... Dude, if you're 39, you are NOT a boy.

Nobody's offering part time jobs that would work for me, so it looks like I'll be placing my own ad soon. Guess I found my plan B?

However, I'm not ready to give up on my plan A just yet. I'll wait for that e-mail just a little bit longer. *hopefool*

Is it tomorrow yet?

Like I said 4 days ago, "starting tomorrow I'm going on a part time job hunt". And who am I to go back on my word? So, starting tomorrow... lol But no, really, I'm serious about all this even if it might not seem like it. It did go slower than I thought. Mostly because I had to work, but also because I love planning. (I might not follow through once I plan everything, but I sure do love planning. Just one of my quirks.)
I started with the obvious sites - moj-posao.net, posao.hr, oglasnik.hr and some not so obvious like forum.hr. It was mostly just a waste of time. They never have any good ads. At least not in the category I'm interested in. Y'know, Other. It all comes down to ads for waiters and cleaning ladies. Not that there's anything wrong with those jobs, but since I'm not a people person and we already established that I'm lazy by nature... Yeah. Not for me. Well. Maybe crime scene cleaning? But I don't think we actually have any crime scene cleaners in Cro. Wait. So who cleans up after a crime? Huh.

Where was I? Oh yeah.

I'll be sending my first CV to M. on Tuesday. I figure they'll have less piled up e-mails on Tuesday than right after the weekend. Getting that job would be perfect. I would work from home and I would be doing what I'm already doing. What I've been doing for the last 11 years. Of course, I would probably go nuts after 2 or 3 months with no days off, but if it gets me to the next convention... So, fingers crossed.

Damn, Jim Beaver was right. I am so craz... devoted. *sigh*